Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Even Bloggers Need A Holiday.

how to invest in Google So, if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of taking a blogging break until the New Year. I'm finding difficulty in finding things to say or write about and that means I need to step back and regroup and experience life instead of always trying to capture and convey it.

I'm still around on Facebook and Twitter, so I mean, if you need a fix you know where to find me.

So I hope you all have a very happy holidays and I'll see you on the flipside. :)


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Sunday Secrets.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Totally Awkward Tuesday.

Google shares So, as I mentioned, we had a Thanksmas dinner this past weekend. We invited our dearest friends over for dinner to celebrate the season with people we love like family but aren't genetically or legally tied to in any way. We would have loved to invite a whole crap ton of people, but (a) our house is small and (b) we were on a tight budget and wanted to make sure people actually had food to eat at our dinner party.

Anyway, I made lasagna from scratch and people brought food and wine (oh, the wine!) and it was a great time -- at least we really enjoyed it.

So in order to get this all done both Kyle and I woke up at the buttcrack to get everything done, since we were making everything save the lasagna noodles. It was a busy day juggling kids and cooking and trying to not get in each other's way and you know, getting dressed before people showed up.

Anyway, so my friend S was there early because she needed to construct her salad and because she was nearby anyway. And she's sitting on my couch while her daughter played with Kiedis, and I'm watching for our other friend M who was waiting in her car because both her husband and her child were asleep but was making her way up our front stairs when Kyle's phone rang on the mantle right next to where I was standing.

He hears it in the kitchen and yells for me to answer it, and looking down at the number I saw it was a local exchange, so I assumed it was someone who was running late or didn't know where we lived and I hadn't answered my phone so they called Kyle because this is how we roll, most of the time.

So I say hello, AS YOU DO, and the voice on the other line just says "Tabatha?" kind of slow and forced, like it's odd for someone's spouse to answer their cell phone. It isn't in my experience, but hey, I guess we're special because we believe in transparency in our relationship FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

So with minor warning bells going off in my head, I replied simple "Yes?" and then, well, I had tunnel vision for a minute.

buy Google shares It was my EMIL.

As soon as it clicked (which was kind of instantaneously) I looked at my friend S on my couch blissfully oblivious of the chaos potentially erupting. I thought about people showing up to my house and this dinner party we'd been planning for months that we'd so been looking forward to and the kids playing happily on the floor and I listened to my gut, which was immediately in fight or flight.

And I realized that it wasn't worth the effort.

She no sooner finished her name than I hung up because NO CONTACT MEANS NO CONTACT.

I then walked in to the kitchen, phone in hand, and gave it to Kyle, telling him what had just happened. He was actually slightly angry because (a) she refuses to listen to him and (b) she damn near ruined our party just by being her stupid self.

Luckily, I was able to quickly shake it and move on, and a great night was had by all. But for a split second, I was frozen because OF ALL TIMES TO CALL WHEN YOU'RE NOT WELCOME TO EVER AND EVER AMEN. My only solace was that if I'd blown up or been reduced to tears, S and M know all about that business and if ever there was a time to be surrounded by the people who have supported us while we recover from all the insanity spearheaded by my EMIL, it was these people, but I didn't want the evening to be another time to deal with my drama, I wanted it to be a celebration of all they've done for us already and a show of appreciation for them being in our lives.

Basically, I picked love over gratification.

Of course, yesterday she emailed him all in a huff because I hung up on her and then went through the same exact me-me-me rigmarole that she always does, which completely and utterly ignores that Kyle has thoughts or feelings or ideas about anything involving her.

I asked him how he felt about her doing this yet again, and he replied that what pissed him off the most, other than it's the same message over and over no matter how many times he asks and tells her to not contact him again, was that she completely ignored me as a part of our family -- like the kids sprouted out of his head all on their own and other than the fact that I hung up on her, I'm not worth mentioning. He said he has no desire to feed into her still incredibly self-important mind games and manipulation while she consistently ignores his desires and continually dis-includes me as someone important to him. These grandchildren that are only important to her when it serves her purposes, THEY CAME OUT OF MY VAGINA. That's not just a throw-away fact; THEY WOULD NOT EXIST WERE IT NOT FOR ME AND MY BODY.

Kyle doubts he's going to respond because he said it's a waste of his time.

So yeah. Awkward, but I guess only for me.


Monday, December 12, 2011

Give and Get.

So it ends up that only two people entered my giveaway -- so I'm working on something to make sure that no one's a loser in a two-person game. Once I hear back from all parties involved, then I'll let you know how that all worked out.

In other news, I learned some new Photoshop skills today:
But I'm not going to tell you what because that would ruin the magic of this year's effort. NEENER. But note that my head is the same size AS MY CHILDRENS' because I have an abnormally small head, and that is sadly not Photoshopped.

I don't know if we're going to be able to swing holiday cards this year, so this may be the best that many of you get from us. I'm sure you could print it out if you so desire an actual photo of us -- I even didn't watermark it for you, you're welcome DON'T STEAL IT. If we're lucky we might figure something out, but hey, this is the best I've got for you and it's better than nothing, yes?

(You can peep the 2009 and 2010 photos here.)

Anyway, today has been insane (hence the late post) and I have stories for you about our Thanksmas dinner this past weekend and honestly stories from Thanksgiving even but they will have to wait because I have ribbons to go hang from.

Happy Christmahanusolstickwanzaa and a Merry New Year!


Thursday, December 8, 2011

One More Hat.

I know, I disappeared for a couple of days.

I've been having computer issues so it's been hard to do things like my new job (I'll come back to that) and my other freelance work and blog while also trying to make it to classes and you know, parent two mini-people who aren't potty trained yet.

I have all these great ideas swirling around in my head, but I'm typically away from any of my various devices and by the time I get to one, it's gone.

Did you know that recently there was a study that found passing through a doorway causes people to forget what they're doing? Something about visual cues and psychological trajectory and such. And now I'm paranoid to leave a room because I'm going to forget the 18 things bouncing around in my head at any given time.


So yes, I have a job, ish. I'm the administrator for the dance studio I told you about. It means that it involves someone being in front of a computer doing things, I'm doing it. It's some hybrid between uber secretary and web admin with dashes of graphic design and blogging. I only say ish because I'm not so much getting paid as I'm trading services (but bartering is the new freelance thing to do, so I hear) so I get to go to classes as much as I want and don't have to pay anything. Which is awesome so far.

So yeah, if you wanted to check out the blog over there, it's Confessions of A Femme Fatale. And that's the site I'm managing, so I mean, yeah. It's a lot of work, some of it easy, most of it challenging, but I like it because it gives me purpose and helps us save money while still providing me an opportunity to do something I'm starting to love and still get to do it all from the very same place on the couch that I do everything else online.

Well, you know, if my internet would stop failing every 45 minutes on the dot. And when I'm not breaking the site at midnight trying to figure something out, heh.

Other than that, don't forget about my giveaway -- there are only two entrants so far!

It's almost the weekend -- and I, for one, am grateful.


Monday, December 5, 2011

Paying It Forward. {An Honest To Cheesus Giveaway}

Ever since last year when we participated in the Bloggess' whirlwind commentpalooza of generosity, I've been wanting to pay it forward. The thought was forced to the front of my brain when Santa essentially did the same thing for us this year.

It's been hard, as we've been struggling more than usual, to figure out how to do that. Last night when reading PostSecret, the one from the parent unable to purchase presents for their children this Christmas causing them to question their faith, my gut just tore open and I wished so hard that the cards weren't anonymous, so I could do something.

Kiedis' first Christmukkah wouldn't have happened without our friends Lisa and Sarvani and their generosity, so I know all too well what that despair feels like, and what that gratitude feels like when someone saves you from that shame out of the goodness of their hearts.

So I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.

Back over the summer I won a Twitter contest from Target. They were debuting a new line of dolls that strikingly resemble the American Girl Dolls -- not the historic ones, but the modern day ones -- and they did something like the first five people to tweet their favorite doll name would win. I randomly tweeted the first name that popped into my head -- Lydia -- and I won.

I had completely forgotten about it until a large box showed up at my house around Halloween. I was kind of excited because unexpected box from Target? DON'T MIND IF I DO, THANK YOU PLEASE! And this pretty lady greeted me from inside:

Her name is Layla, and as you can see she's basically Claudia Kishi updated to this millennium. She's also for ages 4 and up, according to the box.

And I think one of you could give her a lovely home.

My kids are too little to appreciate a doll like this, and I'm not really keen on hanging on to a doll for YEARS before giving it to them (save for my own American Girl Doll, but that's sentimental), so I want to give her away to someone who could really make a child's holiday this year that much brighter.

I'm hosting an honest-to-Cheesus giveaway, people.

Here's what I'm thinking. You tell me who you know that could use this doll for their child this holiday season -- whether it be you, your neighbor, your niece, a family at the shelter you volunteer at, whatever. I just want it to go to someone who otherwise might not be able to buy it. This also means that if you win and you just want me to donate it to Toys for Tots or some other similar organization that can be done. Comment on this post by Friday at midnight and I'll use to pick a winner.

The prize will be one (1) PlayWonder Layla doll from Target (a $35 value) and A SECRET BONUS. I'll foot the shipping, but that means I have to keep it to the contiguous 48 US States. Unless you are willing to pay the shipping yourself, then I don't care where you live.

Cool beans?

Please know that this is in no way sponsored by anyone, nor is it influenced by any corporate entity. I just want to help out another family create holiday memories like others have helped us out (and continue to).

So, here are the rules I'm making up just right now:
1) You have to comment on this post to be entered. Not on Facebook. Here.
2) Liking Tabulous on Facebook will get you an extra entry.
3) So will tweeting "Be a Doll & make this Christmukkah a little brighter for a child with @tabulous!"
4) YOU HAVE TO TELL ME YOU DID THOSE THINGS. I'm a busy lady. Leave another comment for each social media thing you do.
5) It ends FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9TH at MIDNIGHT. I'll use to pick a winner and announce the winner Monday.
6) LEAVE CONTACT INFORMATION. Email is preferred, but if you prefer more anonymity then leave me your Twitter handle. If you don't leave me a way to get a hold of you I can't pick you to win because as I said, I'm a busy lady and I don't have time to hunt you down. Sorry.
7) Contest is open only to people in the lower 48 US states unless you tell me you're willing to pay the shipping for wherever and then, I mean, that's on you.

Make sense?

Help me help a child have a better Holiday season this year. Show a family what the spirit of the season is, and know that you're making a difference.


Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Totally Awkward Tuesday.

Okay, so you know I've been going to a dance studio that focuses on pole fitness and burlesque for the most part, right?

And I kind of work for them now as their administrator -- of the website, of the emails, of the social media, of the scheduling, I'm like a hybrid between a secretary and a webmaster. Of course I'm doing it for trade, but you know, my health and fitness has a price one way or another. I'll either pay for a gym or classes or whatever now or be paying outstanding medical bills later as my body slowly fails on me.


Anyway, I was perusing the Facebook seeing how they ran things prior when I stumbled across a photo folder that was from a time they apparently featured members as the student of the month or some such. There were a  lot of pin-up style photos and boudoir photos because they sponsor those kinds of sessions from time to time, and I'd seen a lot of them at the studio in the albums they keep on hand for display.

But as I'm innocently clicking through photos of strangers done up in their best Bettie Page regalia I realize that they are not all strangers.

And I don't mean the girl I went to high school with who taught there and her sister, because I knew about them already.

No, I was face-to-screen with a nudey photo of a girl I'd gone to school with since elementary school, who somehow ended up being in my college circle of "friends" (read: social drinking partners), who always struck me as squeaky clean and down-home and not someone who'd be up for such a seductive thing like boudoir photography.

But don't get me wrong, that's not the awkward part, because LORD KNOWS I've plastered naked PREGNANT photos of myself all over the interwebz done all beautifully and gorgeously by my friend Jacque (who now always takes our photos when she's in town, but you knew that) because I'm all for women loving their bodies and being however sexy they want to be however they want to be it because that's every girl's prerogative, you know?

So I wasn't bothered by the photo -- it was pretty and tasteful and once I got over my millisecond of shock it was no big deal.

Until I read the description under the photo.

Apparently, she took these photos for her boyfriend's birthday -- a boyfriend I knew fairly well, who was engaged to someone before her that I was close with, and a boyfriend she is no longer with.

I blushed, to be honest, from all the awkward.

As I understood the situation from hearsay (which I know isn't reliable, but the source from which I got it has yet to be wrong about such things and I trust her in my innermost circle of friends, so there's that) this girl got with this guy right after his engagement had been called off. She had been pining for him for some time, and she was a ready and willing rebound. He ... was pretty messed up by the breakup (they'd gotten engaged shortly after we did and had been together for at least a couple of years before that) and I don't think was truly that interested, but again, I don't actually know.

Anyway, so they dated for a while even when his work took him far away and often, but from what I gathered it was a tumultuous relationship. He just wanted to hang out, she wanted to get married. I heard that she tried moving in with him multiple times, only to be shut down every time, and somehow she wasn't getting the hint that he was not really emotionally available, or at least he didn't want to be.

The breakup was not pretty, as I heard. I don't know because I was eyeball deep in my own drama at the time, but I did hear that she had things to say about my relationship and our situation that were distasteful, mean-spirited, and downright cruel while also being uninformed and ignorant. So you know, at least I'll admit I don't really know what I'm talking about, I just know what I've been told. I'm not making judgement calls, I'm just telling a story. She could not say the same.


So they broke up and he's begun to date someone else but we don't really talk that much anymore so I have no idea how any of that is. I do know that a friend of mine has serious reservations about the friendliness of this girl's relationship with said friend's husband and isn't sure what to do, which breaks my heart for my friend and makes me want to give this girl THE BUSINESS about keeping your damn claws to yourself and finding someone NOT ATTACHED to leech onto.

But I digress.

So I'm sitting there suddenly privy to something that could be considered private and intimate between two people who are no longer romantically linked, with all this back story flying around in my head and being somewhere between gasping because SCANDAL and giggling because BACKFIRE (even though I know that's mean) and just, well, being embarrassed for everyone involved, including myself because I know waaaaayyyyy too much about the situation to be able to think about it on a surface level.

I moved on in my Facebook probe, but since I've been maybe a little purposely avoiding the photo albums just so I don't have to think much more about it.

So ... yeah. Tell me your awkward story so I don't feel so ... you know ... awkward.